I'm Perfectly Incapable of Being With You

Hey guys. I've been boring.

Aww, come on.

You can admit it.

Cause quite frankly, i think so too.

And i'm so sorry.

For all the sad/confusing/vague posts.

They didn't use to come so often.

But now, they seem to be the only thing that's coming in.

No more pictures, videos(at least not here), audio updates.

Damn it, am i boring.

Apologies, my dearests.

Unfortunately, I cannot begin right at this moment

Cause for some reason the uploading of pictures have become insanely long.

The estimated time has been 13 days, 8 hours and 19 minutes for awhile now.

Its insane.

On a completely different note, I think Chrome absolutely sucks. Anybody with me there?

Ugh. Mozilla ftw, baby!

I'm scrolling through old posts.

It's so enjoyable.

And i miss being happy and carefree.

Seemingly carefree.

Now I'm alone most of the time and bitter for no reason.

Gawd, Steffi. What the heck is wrong with you??!?!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OHMYGOSH, ANDREW LYN!

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO DO OUR NEXT INSTALLMENT!

but we're both so busy. :/

ARGH.

Looks like there's only one thing we can do.

Schedule time to do it. ahahaha

Contact me when you see this.

Oh man.

I miss doing Shannon time.

hahahahahhahhaha.

I'm in the same class with him this year again.

But its different now.

He changed.

Or maybe i was the one who changed.

ARGH confusion.

EEEPPPPP!!!

I MISS KAREN SO MUCH.

:(

hahahaha

i miss posting pictures of my big fat face on my blog to scare you guys.

:D ahhaaha I gotta start doing that again.

I haven't doodled on anybody's hand in forever. :/

Beware, victim.

I miss taking pictures in school.

But it's not the same anymore.

Cause we're all separated.

Guess i'll have to make do?

*weak smile*

I MISS BK ON CATURDAYS!!!

CATURDAYS! :(

hahahahah darn it.

i need my weekly dose of BK.

I miss fairy.

:(

what happened to us?

we used to be inseparable.

and now we're keeping things from each other?

Doesn't feel right.

i miss doing picture updates.

HAHA.

oh look.

Valentine's Day is just around the corner.

Let's await and see what i think of it this year.

Boycott again? As the previous two years?

Or will some things be different this year?

Only time will tell. And me too, of course.

:D

I miss watching movies. :(

I haven't seen any lately.

ahahahha

*hint hint*

AHH

AND I MISS DOING THE HINT HINT THING

:D

chh.

And the chh thing. :D

I miss vandalizing ex schools with ex best friends.

I miss taking blurry pictures with friends.

Oh gosh.

By the fates of my shuffle feature,

I realize i've missed incubus.

:D

I miss punishing myself by making myself write many times.

HAHAHA

this post is turning emo again.

hahahahaahah

APOLOGIES.

but i gotta pretend i was asleep the whole time.

:(

I'll get one up soon!

Darn those pictures.

Still not done.

Things'll be different.

I promise,

Steffi.

I Know They're Bad For Me But I Just Can't Leave Them Alone

Oh gosh.
I've missed you so much!
:)
Feels good to talk again.
But i still hate you.
Cause you always opt out before i get to listen.
You're so evil.
I'm watching you.
*eagle eye*

Whoo!
I'm batgirl.



piu piu piu.



Nah! Mati ko.

I Think You Used Me Again

You've gotta be shitting me.

Why is it that everytime i trust somebody.

They know exactly how to freakin screw me over.

I've had enough of your BS and your torture.

Your nonexistant PMS issues and your fake smiles.

Your slicing words. Your unbearable attitude.

The countless times you said 'You can trust me.'

The things you said to put me down in your despicable hopes to keep me there.

Screw you.

Damn it.

You know what sucks?

Just a little while ago, I remember telling you how much i love you and how you were one of my best friends.

How you were one of the few i trust.

Funny thing, I don't think i can recall even once that you returned it.

Guess i'm just too gullible.

Too easy to fool and use.

I'm tired of crying over shitholes like you.

Cause i realised if it doesn't physically hurt. What's the point of crying?

They're just emotions stirred up by bitches and assholes like you.

But honestly, thank you.

Thanks for reminding me once again that in this world not everything goes the way we hoped/planned.

And not everyone turns out the way we'd like to believe.

So fuck trust.

Fuck giving people the benefit of the doubt.

Seriously, i'm so sick of people pretending to be people they're not.

Putting up a smile then moving their trap as soon as my back's turned.

You know what?

I've been nothing but nice to you.

All of you.

Honestly, just try and justify what you did.

I'm so sick of listening to you feed me your underprepared lies.

So please just stop.

And as for those who are planning to hurt me and send me into another one of those emotional breakdowns i have in the shower.

Save it.

You're never getting the satisfaction of it ever again.

No matter how unaware of it you are.

I don't have to take any of your shit.

But i do cause i love you and nobody else will.

But you don't have to worry about that anymore.

Cheers, bitches.

Where are you when i need you now?

Excuse Me. Too Busy. You're Writing Your Tragedy.

8th Jan.

Hey guys.

I'm writing this in Notepad.

Its Thursday and so far the week has been going really slowly.

I don't get it.

Any-waayyss!!!

I can't wait for this week to end.

Not only cause it would mean that this school year is one week down.

But also cause i have a few friends' birthdays this weekend!

I'm ecstatic! And i can't wait to see my friends this weekend!!

I'll update soon!

10th Jan.

The first week of school is officially over.

And soon begins the second of the year.

This week has been passing insanely slowly.

I can't put my finger on it.

Its been insanely quiet in class.

We're waiting for our next teacher to come into our classroom.

And everybody is doing homework.

Yeah!! Everybody!

Including me.

But that's only cause i promised in my new year's resolutions.

Even though I don't think all of you guys watched that video.

And get this.

The said homework isn't due until March.

hahaha its so funny.

In a not so funny kind of way.

No comment on friends.

No comment on teachers.

With the exception of us scaring off our biology teacher after only two periods!

She resigned!

And we were nice to her.

And we were quiet.

But she spoke soooo softly.

I don't know.

Its just weird.

So now, we don't have a biology teacher.

Awesome.

:/

This year is really turning out to be a gem.

So, I went to Sam Tan's birthday party yesterday night at Luna Rossa.

Food was awesome.

Ambience was great.

People were acceptable. hahaha (don't take it personally, Sam. You know why.)

I hung out with Vern, Yvonne, Apple and Oscccarrrr.

Then after the party, Yazid came to pick me up

Then we chilled at Starbucks.

Then i had school this morning.

Then i went home.

And then i did some stuff.

And now here i am in Starbucks.

(Darn that Yaz.

He totally influenced me.)

But for some reason the internet isn't working.

But i don't really care.

Surprisingly.

Cause internet has been banned in my house.

Yay. :/

See? The internet isn't working.

Starbucks down a level!

hahahahaah.

Dude, I'm beating you 63-zip.

HAHAHA

And don't give me that "You're mean" crap.

Cause I am nice! and sweet! and kiiiuuttt!

HAH! you'll never beat me. hhahaha

And now i dare you to do a cover for Ex-creations by Fall of Troy!

Sometime before you leave, please. :D

Alright, pilots.

I'll see you tonight!

Salut!

15th Jan.

Hey all!

The second week of school is coming to a close.

And the truth is i don't think i can stand being in this school for another week.

Let alone another 11 months.

Joy!

I went to the ABRSM high scorers concert last night at Le Meridien.

To watch. I go every year.

And somehow i got tricked by mom to finish off my grade 8 violin.

:/ great.

Oh joy!

Oh! and Yazid left to Perth today.

Well, actually yesterday.

But. What? nothing. I don't know what i'm saying.

mm...... Let's see

Our first official prayer meeting was today.

Its so weird how fast time had flown by!

I can still remember when me, Ronald and Max were praying with VunHau.

And we were the ones being led.

Look at us now!

We're the Seniors!

The leaders.

We all have our not-so-little group of tiny juniors.

We're all pretty freaked out about it.

But i'm sure we'll do great.

With God, what can we not do?

But yeah, we feel old.

hahahaahaa. :/

I wonder how i'll feel when i'm 50.

I wonder who i'll be when i'm 50.

Hmm... great.

Something else i can think about.

AHHHHH!

You know what i found out?

Apparently i'm not going to be around for my last sports meet ever.

I'm going to be in Thailand for my wedding.

Yeah, i'm marrying my long term male prostitute.

I got him pregnant. :/

so now i have to marry him.

Great.

Talk about being chained down.

I'm joking!

Its my cousin's wedding.

And while i'm psyched that i'm going to his wedding,

I'm still bummed that i won't be able to even see my last sports day.

Ugh.

Dad gave me a choice.

But. I don't know.

Help me decide?

And this is my first post for 2009.

Wow.

Am i late.

Apologies.

And while i write this,

I'm listening to the songs that i need to play tmr.

:/ AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am not ready at all!!!!

There are songs that need self-tabbing and transposing and getting used to.

Sorry Daniel!!!

But I'm

Freaking out.

And apart from that, my first violin lesson in about a year is tomorrow too!

Joy joy joy.

And i think if i use joy one more time, i'm going to snap.

And i know some of you guys have been worried about me.

Even though i have no idea what you guys are worrying about.

I'm fine, you know?

Really.

Just been really tired and sick and tired of things and people and school.

Lots of decisions to be made.

Its driving me crazy.

And if you think that's something to worry about,

its not.

I'm just saying. :D

But thanks for being concerned and calling and texting and asking about me.

Argh.

No computer on weekdays.

Which is okay.

But a little inconvenient.

Especially now.

I'll try to get a video up as soon as i can scrape time together to make and edit one.

Argh.

I miss Alex.

:(

Nobody i want to pass notes to in class more than Alex right now.

But we're not even in the same class! :(

School is brutal.

Totally slaughtering me.

Mostly cause of the lack of people who matter.

But nobody should matter.

I'm suffering from writer's block.

Both song and essay/thoughts/whatever.

I can't read anything.

UGHHH!

I have no idea why.

Guess its time to do what i did again.

Mm... if i have time.

I need to schedule that in.

This is a really long post.

:/

Even the one written today.

Eh. Entahlah.

I can't hear you,

Steffi