Forgive Me

Audio Update at my Xanga!
Click here!

Sorry I'm making you bloggers go to my xanga, but blogspot doesn't allow audio uploads. :(



For those of you who don't know what a hiatus is....

Hiatus may refer to:

• A period of time where one is on a break
• A break or interruption in the continuity of a work, series, action, etc. (See recess)
• Hiatus (anatomy), a natural fissure in a structure

But, obviously I'm not talking about a natural fissure. :D

I love you guys. And thanks for bearing with me. :)


Entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem.
yeah.... like non-existant feelings... :S




Twist the knife deeper. I dare you,
steffi.

When Loving Means Breaking And Saying Goodbye

I feel like I haven't written properly in such a long time. You understand. The type of writing in which you do not press enter after every line and type smiley faces to show how you feel. Good writing is supposed to be how people know how you feel. Where every word means something. I used to write like that.

My, my, how I've changed. Speaking of change, apparently I have quite a bit. I'm not quite sure how or when exactly i changed. But I would appreciate it if somebody tells me. You can do it anonymously or you can just come right out and tell me. I won't hate you! I promise! In fact, I'll probably trust you more. But, please. Be delicate! I break easily.

Countdown to the end of the year: 41 days. Yes, I counted. Why? Because I just so happen to think that this year, the year I am sixteen, is the best year of my life! ---- so far, at least.

How am I spending my days? Today, I went to Warisan Square alone for lunch. You don't have to pity me for being alone. Cause I kinda chose to be. I, sometimes do enjoy my lonesome. But that doesn't mean I am a total pariah, okay? Just making sure you have the right idea. Alone time is good. Sometimes you just need to disconnect to reconnect. Do any of you understand what I'm saying? I hope you do. Or I'm more out of touch than I thought.

Anyway, I had lunch at Hong Kong recipe. Cheese-baked rice, of course. It's the only thing that's good there. I went to Times before that and found Through the Looking Glass. Man! I've been looking for that book for so long! Plus, I heard there's a book sale at KK Plaza. Or was it Asia City? Anyways, I plan to check that out soon. Any uber book lovers out there? Let me know. We'll check it out together, huh? I'm a sucker for the classics.

While I was at HKr, I saw our school coach/math teacher, Mr Golden Chee there too. He was alone. We talked a bit but then we realised how weird it must look for the both of us, being alone talking together over lunch. So, he went to the other table and we ate, quietly. Which i preferred. Throughout the whole time I was at Warisan, I was texting with Daryl. He was stationed there today to make sure the buses were on time for the tourists. He worked so hard. Messed up a little, yes, but i thought he did pretty good.

I went to check up on him first. Then I went to Tech City to look for a magnesium flint and steel firestarter. Which is for burning down my school, of course. Anybody want to join me? Well, I couldn't find it. The guy didn't even know what I was talking about. I'll have to put off that plan till I find a way. Back to the story of my last 41st day of my year, I just hung out with him until his shift was over then we went home.

This is so boring. I'm sorry I'm boring. Nothing eventful.

Right now I've just been reunited with Sant and Jamieth after a long time, because of the msn hack thing. I lost Sant's email. I missed him! Hear that, Sant? I miss you! We're talking about a lot of stuff right now. Its always so messy. I love them both so much!

This post is so boring. I apologize. I'll make stuff more interesting. Next time. Or maybe I'll go back to writing crapilly. ahahahahhahahahhah :/ hahahhahahahaha

Confused,
steffith

Trapped

I'm awake in the infinite cold, but you sing to me over
And over and over again.


Touched by angels, though I fall out of grace
I did it all so maybe I'd live this every day


Making plans
Just to stop the aching.


A kiss goodbye. Not this time
Don't remember what about this song I ever liked.


Filling my soul and warming my heart.
I love how we feel the same.


Please don't think that this was easy.


I'm perfectly incapable of being with you.


Cause we both know what its like to be alone.


All i ever do is say i'm sorry.


His little whispers,
love me love me


I can't name a penance for abuse.


This poison's my intoxication
I broke the needle off in my skin



ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
goodnight, eskimo.

I'm Feeling Like I Might Need To Be Near You.

I smile.
I burn.
I remember.
I sting.
I think.
I bleed.
I'm wrong.
I break.
I let my guard down.
I twist.
I breathe.
I get scared.
I forget.
I bend.
I watch.
I am guarded.
I suck.
I love.
I'm right.
I cry.
I hate.
I rock.
I get disappointed.
I listen.
I sink.
I fight but you won't let me.
I am human.

Oh, I Can Feel Her. She's Dying Just To Keep Me Cool.

ARGHHHHHH!!!!
NO NO NO NO!!
NO!
why torture me?
:'(


i don't want to hear you.
please.
have mercy

I Don't Want To Hurt You. I Don't Want To Make You Sway

Xanga, xanga, xanga.
What am i to do with you?
So many people have been complaining that recently you won't load.
And so, a large sum of my friends (the ones i've been staying at xanga for)
have moved to Blogger (which i have but don't use).

Therefore, the conclusion is...
I need to post both sides. :/
OKEHH.
But i am like so malas.
So, very likely, i'm just going to copy paste.
for those yang x tau my xanga:
xanga.com/modedevie

uishhhhh, skrg 2:38am oh.
I'm supposed to go jogging with Edrea Rumba Paaaaaaaaaan at 5.
I think. ahhhaha
Then cycle to McDonald's drive-thru for breakies.
But i don't know if its on.
And i don't know if i can wake up tomorrow.
Or today. Yeah. More like today.

So, i just came back from class trip today.
BUDUH of course i mean yesterday!
We went to Melinsung.
and i'm lazy to upload anything right now.
It was pretty awesome.
We had a Saw and Scary Movie marathon.
All 8 of them.
During the 2 nights.
HAHA
average= 4 movies a night+NFS+Naruto Battle game+Fifa!!!!
Dayumn. I am so happy the guys brought two PS2s.
HAHAH
Apart from being total children of the future/present,
We played pictionary. Oooohhhh.
Be afraid, World.
Cause I kick ass in pictionary.
Ohhh yeahhhh.
We all played Bullshit, Poker, ChoDaiDi, SNAP!
We also played Millionaire aka Malaysia's Monopoly.
We barbecued in the dark and in the rain.
We buried ourselves in the sand, up to our thighs.
We camwhored.
We cleaned the guys' rooms.
We tried to get 4 people to make out with a mirror!
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH that was hilarious.
People from our class isn't so bad!

but sadly,
Apparently, the school's reshuffling our/all forms.
They just hate that we're so united.
They're just jealous they aren't cool like us.
They're just mad cause we like to see them cry.
They're just doing it to defy us.
B-b-but...
We're so obsequious!

pshht.... whatever.
Why don't you go wet your bed or whatever.
Geeezzz.
Nothing better to do, these crabs.
I pull your soft squishy insides out of your hard shell,
baru ko tau.
ishhh.

So, a LOT of people are leaving already.
How can i make this not sound depressing?
even though it is exactly that.
So, i only found out today, on the bus back from Melinsung
that my friend was leaving to Melbourne by the end of the year.
What's more is that its going to be when i'm not here.
So, there is no sending to the airport and everything else.

Life is lovely, no?

Everybody's changing
and i don't feel the same.

Tis' time to cut my toes off.
oh crap.
How am i supposed to run when i'm not balanced?

i am so rantful.

you're only jealous cause you don't have superman kite!
MUAHAHHAHA.
Go eat a banana.

Black cherry paradise, half the sugar twice the spice,
steffi.

hahahahhaahhahhahahahaha.
why am i so lame?

no bahh.....
nahhh, proper sign off.

I miss me,
steffi.